No matter what internal baggage I came over here with, I'm letting it go. I'm sick of carrying around all that junk. It's dumb, and a waste of time anyway. I'm done with it.
How I felt about my faith before coming here--that's over, too. I'm sick of being exhausted, of feeling distant from God, of making excuses as to why the distance is as great as it is. No more.
All those little fears and self-conscious thoughts I came with, those are out too. Because they're stupid, and they just hold me back. (Now, I'm not saying I'm suddenly going to be an athlete or super outgoing or anything like that...but I'm not going to be afraid to touch a ball now and again, or afraid to stand in front of a group of 12 year olds for cryin' out loud.)
No, instead I've decided it's time to start fresh.
So tonight, I played handball for probably 45 minutes.
I volunteered to tell a joke at the end of the youth event tonight when asked if I knew any--though it was forgotten later that I would, so I'll just save it for a rainy day.
I had an unplanned Skype call and didn't freak out about it because I wasn't prepared.
I'm letting my future roommate handle tomorrow's sign-up situation rather than myself--letting go of the reigns. Big step there.
I read my Bible. And rather than getting caught up with, "Ugh, I suppose I have to read this because it's the next book I said I'd read," I skipped on. And I found a new verse:
"He delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us. On him we have set our hope that he will deliver us again." 2 Corinthians 1:10
I can't quite tell you why this stuck out to me, but it did. And I'm going to take this little bit from God's Word and squeeze all I can out of it.
Just in time for Easter.
Anyway...that's all for the moment. More working on the mural tomorrow.
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