Let it Bud

My oh my, how time flies.

I've been here a week short of two months now, and I still can't believe this is my life. But I just want to see what God has in store now, and see it bloom like never before. Let that bud form, Lord. I want to see Your works.

This past weekend was Easter, obviously, but it was so different than doing Easter back home. They don't really do the big family meal thing here--we had dinner with the parents of the husband again, but that was simply because the wife was working. No reason beyond that, as far as I could tell. But once again, a fine meal. I do love that couple.

Then Monday, I went with a group of people from the church to the Bangor Convention (called such as it's held in Bangor, a town better than an hour's drive from here and on the other side of Belfast), which was a variety of church folks listening to preachers and faith stories and worship and things like that. During the afternoon break, we wandered about Bangor (and I did take a few pictures) and had a good time. The sun was bright, and the sky was clear, and I could only think about how blessed I am to be here, to be with these people, to be doing what I'm doing, to feel the way I feel.

Today was a rough day. I was absolutely exhausted from yesterday's adventures about Bangor, and didn't have much life in me. But I do love Jesus, more than anything. And I do love this country. And I do love these kids. And I do love these friends.

Prayer Request:

Tomorrow begins StreetReach. Pray that my health stays up, and that my heart stays strong. And that my voice keeps with me, as it's my first time helping to lead worship...and I'm not sure what kind of funny things could happen. Pray that the communities respond positively, and that kids are about to attend the kids clubs in the evenings and become connected with our Centre and our ministry. And pray that I get adequate sleep.

Easter Thoughts

Today, I've just been thinking about how I wish I could adjust a few things over here.

Like the fact that my legs have been eaten by bugs. (I'm not exaggerating.)

Or the fact that I'm sometimes teased for the way I say things, or my cultural mishaps.

Or the fact that I wish I had a dryer for my laundry.

Or the fact that I never seem to sleep a full night no matter how hard I try, because my brain never shuts down.

Or the fact that I wish hugs were more frequent.

Or the fact that I live so far away from town.

But then, I think about all these wee things, about the little adjustments and complaints I carry around in my head all day long, and I realize something important that I let myself miss all too easily.

This weekend is about something bigger. It's about the life, death, and resurrection of Christ.

Starting at Isaiah 52:13, we hear about what Christ went through, in quite graphic language. This was the road set out for him. This was the life his Father had in store, years upon years upon years before that first Christmas. He was sent to be nothing significant in appearance, in skills, in anything. No, his job wasn't to glorify himself. It was solely to glorify God the Father.

I may have more bug bites than one can possibly fathom (still not exaggerating), but I'm never made to wear a crown of thorns.

I may be teased for my accent, or for my mishaps, or for my uneasily-controlled emotions from time to time, but I'm never forced to stand naked with a sign above my head in mockery.

I may be uncomfortable in my clothes and wish my skinnies would fit me again like they used to, but I'm never made to be ashamed of my appearance, not even in the slightest.

I may not get enough sleep, but I have a bed. And a roof over my head. And warm blankets. I have a home.

I may not get enough physical affection, but I'm not treated as one who touches the lepers, either. (Though I don't ever want to be afraid to touch lepers.)

I may live out in the middle of nowhere and often feel stranded and isolated and alone, but I never have had to walk for miles, carrying my own means of death on my shoulder.

This weekend is Easter weekend. And the Lord is good. And though I'm not, he still loves me anyway. So I'm going to do my best to push aside my complaints and instead set his thoughts higher, his will higher, and his dreams higher. Because Jesus knows what's best anyway.

We haven't talked much this week, I see...

It really was a strange sort of week. I don't feel I got much of anything accomplished.

The KFC program on Tuesday went well, except for the fact that I got a headache during the end of it--a rare occurrence for me. (Oh, and here they don't call it a headache, they'd call it a "sore head".) I guess I need to work on my sleep and hydration patterns. Time to invest in an aluminum watter bottle or something.

Following the program, because of Holy Week, we went down to a special youth event at the Church of Ireland and just kind of hung out with the kids. I laughed along with a couple girls after one dropped her ice cream cone in the bathroom--oh, to be 15 again! And I stayed up much too late that night with all my thoughts pooling up and then running around once the lights were off in my bedroom.

Wednesday, Ben's car went out of commission. Now he's been demoted to bicyclist, and we've been demoted to bumming rides/working from home today. There's so much to get done before next Wednesday (as that's when our 4-day long StreetReach event begins, which I'll inform you of later), plus next Tuesday's KFC lesson, plus we have Monday off as a holiday...AY YAI YAI. Lord, give me patience...and speed when Tuesday comes.

Yesterday was just kind of depressing. But the intern from the Church of Ireland came in with a gaggle of teens, so that brightened my day for the 20 minutes they were in the Centre.

I really shouldn't be so down. I've got so much to be thankful for.

I'm starting to get back into the Word again.

I get to sing and lead worship during StreetReach, something I've always wanted to do.

I got to Skype with girls on Wednesday, and get to do so again tonight.

I received a package from one girl on Wednesday with Bananagrams and a card inside.

I received another package from my mom this morning with a load of Easter stuff inside!

I have fantastic friends, even if they are just as stranded as I am at the minute.

I got into the best housing possible at Crown next year, which will keep me sane after leaving NI.

And to top it all off, I'm in stinking EUROPE. Living in Northern Ireland. Every single day.

So, today, I'm going to enjoy my day off. I should take it as a work-from-home day, but I doubt I will. I'll take advantage of the sun, of the time to knit and watch some garbage on TV, of the time and space to deal with some of the thoughts rushing through my head of late. It'll be a good day.

Oh, and a shout-out:

Aunt Kathy, next time I go to the store I'm going to be looking for the ingredients for all those fab recipes. :)

"The Morning That Death Was Killed"

I woke in a place that was dark

The air was spicy and still

I was bandaged from head to foot

The morning that death was killed.

I rose from a mattress of stone

I folded my clothes on the sill

I heard the door rolling open

The morning that death was killed.

I walked alone in the garden

The birds in the branches trilled

It felt like a new beginning

The morning that death was killed.

Mary, she came there to find me

Peter with wonder was filled

And John came running and jumping

The morning that death was killed.

My friends were lost in amazement

My father, I knew, was thrilled

Things were never the same again

After the morning that death was killed.

-Steve Turner

Fresh

Today, I made a decision.

No matter what internal baggage I came over here with, I'm letting it go. I'm sick of carrying around all that junk. It's dumb, and a waste of time anyway. I'm done with it.

How I felt about my faith before coming here--that's over, too. I'm sick of being exhausted, of feeling distant from God, of making excuses as to why the distance is as great as it is. No more.

All those little fears and self-conscious thoughts I came with, those are out too. Because they're stupid, and they just hold me back. (Now, I'm not saying I'm suddenly going to be an athlete or super outgoing or anything like that...but I'm not going to be afraid to touch a ball now and again, or afraid to stand in front of a group of 12 year olds for cryin' out loud.)

No, instead I've decided it's time to start fresh.

So tonight, I played handball for probably 45 minutes.

I volunteered to tell a joke at the end of the youth event tonight when asked if I knew any--though it was forgotten later that I would, so I'll just save it for a rainy day.

I had an unplanned Skype call and didn't freak out about it because I wasn't prepared.

I'm letting my future roommate handle tomorrow's sign-up situation rather than myself--letting go of the reigns. Big step there.

I read my Bible. And rather than getting caught up with, "Ugh, I suppose I have to read this because it's the next book I said I'd read," I skipped on. And I found a new verse:

"He delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us. On him we have set our hope that he will deliver us again." 2 Corinthians 1:10

I can't quite tell you why this stuck out to me, but it did. And I'm going to take this little bit from God's Word and squeeze all I can out of it.

Just in time for Easter.

Anyway...that's all for the moment. More working on the mural tomorrow.

So, I've been here 5 weeks...(a reflection of sorts)

I think, at this point, my biggest fear is that my mouth will get away from me in the promises it makes.

I want to live here forever, you see. I really and truly do. I would miss all of yous back home, with your hugs and your smiles and your conversations and your love. But until I die, I think a part of me will always belong in this part of the world. And I'll never really be whole until I come here. And living in the Midwest for the rest of my life wouldn't be fair to anyone. Especially not to God.

But my biggest fear, you see, is that I'll be a flop. I'll tell everyone that I'm coming back, don't give yourself time to miss me ladies and gents because in a few months you won't be able to get rid of me. And then, they'll wait. And wait. And wait. And I'll have secured an apartment with a best friend in the States, and started up a new job at a coffee shop as well as a job working with a parachurch ministry (because we all know I'll need to have two income sources if I want to eat), and bought permanent things like furniture and a cell phone contract and a dog or something. And then, I'll be rooted in the States. Oh sure, I could go back on all those things. But knowing me, I won't. And then I'll always be the girl who lied.

That's my biggest fear.

So, my only solution to this: find as many reasons as possible to come back to Northern Ireland after graduation. Which is why I've so many friends back at home who are telling me to find a future husband here (automatic visa, yeah yeah!)--and boy, do I ever hope it happens. Though anything long distance would be far less than ideal, I'm willing. I'm willing to change my plans for yours, Lord. And I'm willing to cry and stress and lose sleep and worry and wait for an appropriate time difference if it means I would get to live here, and be happy, and have the life I've always dreamed of having but never thought possible. I'm so willing.

And I'm willing to spend way too much money on postage, to lose hours of sleep here or there because of Skype calls, and to be forever known as "the American" if it means I get to live here. I'm willing to have "a funny accent," and be told I drive "on the wrong side of the road," and eat funny things like chip buddies, and be scolded for accidentally giving the backwards-peace-sign to someone and realizing after that I just told someone to do a specific something to his/herself...(and hope that I'm in cordial company that forgives me), and get used to the taste of instant coffee, and adjust to the weather, and hear about "my" country's government and how messed up it is (like I'm responsible or something), and everything else. I'm so willing, Lord.

I'm willing to drive myself crazy, to go the extra mile and then be told I've three more left, to earn a college education and start off with a sprint right out of the graduation gate, to rely on technology to see the faces I love, and to rely on God for new lovely faces in my life.

I am willing.

Avid Reader

Lady or Gent from Portadown:

I see you are an avid reader. I'm grateful. Put in a good word for me so I can stay here forever. That is all.

P.S. Who are you so we can be bezzies?

Won't Back Down (a.k.a. A Rant of Sorts)

I'm learning the art of saying "no".

See, I'm the easily-pushed-over type. But then, I'm also passive-aggressive, so I hold every single moment I'm pushed over in a wee bottle and burst them all out eventually and then force myself not to throw fists.

And I hate being looked down upon for my age by my peers. PEERS. Just because you're a few months older does not make you infinitely wiser. Fact.

Today, my friends and family, was just one of those days. A button was pushed just one time too many, and I refused to take it. I was pleasant, mind you. But I did say no.

Alright, now that we've got that settled...

It was a fine day today. I designed a mural for the Centre...

(something like this...but different colors)

...and I put together some more ideas for the prayer room...

...and I bought groceries.

So, perhaps it wasn't the best of days. But it wasn't bad.

Oh, and P.S. about the Staff Meeting I went to yesterday, where I met more YFC-NI faces...it was great. We had a man speaking about the consistency of God between the Old and New Testaments, and for all those in the room it was a stimulating conversation starter. (Can't say the same for me, just because I've had to write essays and read books about this subject for Crown, but that doesn't mean I didn't enjoy it. It was more a matter of watching something come to life to other people, though.)

Welp, looks like I lost track of time again, it's nearly 12:30am. Oops. Goodnight, world.

Belfast Brilliance

My day was fab. Absolute class. I love Belfast, I really do. At least, the part of it I saw. I walked around City Centre, which is the part around the City Hall building.

And I went into many, many shops. (Don't worry, Mom, I didn't purchase something at all of them. Basically all of it was just browsing/killing time until I got a text saying to meet somewhere.)

But I navigated on my own. Well, once I knew the general direction of things just before being dropped off. But still! I'm quite proud of it. I thought, surely I'll get lost at some point today. Nope, made it out alive. Perhaps my directional challenges are starting to leave me. Or maybe I'm just gaining confidence in my wandering skills.

Accent update: I notice that the more I speak with the Northern Irish, the more I pick up their sing-songy inflections. I've almost completely stopped saying "too" (choosing "as well" instead), changed all my "umm"s to "emm"s, and gotten quite good at saying "oh, right". And I'm getting better at writing with their slang, using "awk" when I remember. Oh, and yesterday I used the word "craic"! It felt awkward and a little forced just because it was my first time, but no one said anything. It's so easy to use "wee", though. Because it's in almost every sentence anyway. But the "so I did/so it was/so it does" doesn't quite come as naturally...as in it doesn't come at all, so it doesn't.

Busy Bee

I went to our church down the way again, and met a man visiting for the last 3 weeks from Manitoba. (Random? Bet your bottom dollar.) And he called me his "cousin" because Manitoba is right above Minnesota, so I should know all about where he's from, right?

So wrong. So, so, so wrong.

I just looked up where Manitoba was on Google Maps. Really, SOMEONE in the US public school system should be educating us about the geography of Canada, because I know nothing about the provinces or anything up there.

Anyway, we bonded over our horrible winter back at home, and about the impending doom of floods for our loved ones. He then told me I should come up and visit Manitoba now--fat chance, buddy. There ain't no way I'm driving 8 hours to a place that looks like where I'm from when I can hop on a plane to see something incredible. (No offense. But maybe someday, I'll finally visit Canada. Maybe.)

Then, we had dinner at the parents' of the husband of the couple I'm living with. (I wish I could just call them my "host family" because it would make it so much less complicated to explain...but I just can't bring myself to do it. It's not really a family. It's just a married couple. And all I really do at home is sleep.) They're a lovely couple. And if I could, I'd eat at their place every Sunday (or more!). It only happens when the wife of the couple is working, though.

And to top today's activity list off, we had a BBQ--the interns, our supervisor, the National Director of YFC-NI, and the chairman of the board plus his wife. And that couple had a lovely spread. Her homemade wheaten bread is delicious. (We don't really have anything to compare wheaten bread with back home, because they use a special kind of flour...and I intend to bring a bag of it back home with me, because it's that fantastic.)

Then, speaking at the Methodist for their evening service. And it went quite well. Steve, the National Director, gave a message on God's fatherly love for us and how there is absolutely nothing we can do to make Him love us any more or any less. A message I've heard a dozen times over (which happens when you have a mixed bag of contemporary church background in you, as I do), but hit me in a new way. I really appreciated it. I think my soul was thirsty for it or something, because it was like fresh words. (Perhaps the Northern Irish accent accompanying it helped a bit, too.) And Steve tried multiple times to rope me into different projects here--the football (soccer) evangelism team here that YFC runs (NO WAY), as well as possibly being on staff in a different town. I want to hang out with that man more. I've succumbed to being poor, so maybe I can leave this country with a job in place already...here's hoping.

And now, I'm in Belfast. Writing from the spare bedroom of my supervisor's house, and settling in for a day of adventure tomorrow about the City Centre. Hoorah! Never fear, photos will document tomorrow.

Klutz Day

(Well, not completely. But much of it was.)

#1 - I spilled my juice all over the carpet this evening. Good thing it was nearly the same color as the carpet, because it came right out. (And good thing I had a towel handy.)

#2 - I suck at pool. I couldn't get the 8 ball in for the life of me, and every time I kept missing it. It was the game that lasted forever. Good thing neither of us were too skilled, or I'd be more embarrassed.

#3 - I broke my favorite pair (and ONLY pair, because I'm so picky) of sandals today...and didn't even notice until probably an hour later when it felt funny as I walked. So I had to go and buy another pair of shoes (no really, it was a must, I'm not kidding) from a shop down the way so that I would be able to keep up with the kids tonight at the youth club. (And I'm pretty sure I bought a size too small because they hurt my heels a bit...I still can't quite figure out UK sizes.)

#4 - Not really klutzy, but I wish the guitar would come quicker. I know, I know, it's been a week. And one legit lesson (aka today). But I want to be pro, right away. Or at least enough to say I can play the guitar, and pick it up and prove it. It just feels so awkward in the learning process.

#5 - I cannot compete in Wii Play for the life of me. I can't make those little guys go anywhere! But that's okay. I'll stick with Just Dance (which I ROCK at, by the way...).

All in all, another solid day. I need to get my butt to the grocery soon, though...but considering I'll be up in Belfast on Monday and most of Tuesday, I think that it's alright. I won't be eating it anyway. And as for my weekend plans...well, I'll be telling you about them as they develop, I'm sure. I always thought I'd take days off to blog, but I just love telling you all about my new world so much that I can't help but stay up the extra half hour and fill you all in. That's right, I sacrifice my sleep for you. Appreciate it. :)

Staff Day: To The Coast!

I didn't step one foot into the office today. Oh, no. Today was a staff day, intended just for the interns and our supervisor. It was an adventure day. And I knew nothing about where we were going.

So, Lexie and I are picked up from the house, told to remember tennis shoes, and off we went. And about 20 minutes later, we were finally told where we were headed: the North Coast! This is the one place in Northern Ireland that everyone has told us to go to--"Oh you're here from America, are yous? Awk, lovely. Have you seen much? Be sure to go to the North Coast! Portrush is beautiful." And today, we finally did it.

After a two hour car ride (or something like that...), we made it to our destination. And it really was lovely. We walked and walked and walked, and nearly fell down cliffs (well not really, but the sides of the paths sure are steep), and then, we saw it.

And I'm not kidding you, it was really everything they said it would be. And I'm not an outdoors-y person, we all know. But I could've climbed those rocks for ages. I didn't mind the wind or the stairs or the huffing and puffing from walking in the least, because I got to see something today. Something that you can only see here in Northern Ireland. And it was beautiful. (Thanks, Lord, for putting all that together, by the way!)

After the trip home, I went out with a group of friends to the cinema (movie theatre) and saw Lincoln Lawyer--which, to be honest, I went out for the social activity rather than the movie itself. But it was quite good. Not a waste of £5 at all. (And I don't even like Matthew McConaughy.) Then a Smarties McFlurry for dessert--a very good day, if you ask me.

(P.S. Smarties here aren't like the ones we have in the States. They're basically like M&Ms...but once when I compared them to that, I was told I was wrong though I don't see how...better yet, just look it up online.)

Oh, and I also learned today about something called a "chip buddy". Which I ate for dinner. What it is, is basically a chip (fry) sandwich, with buttered white bread and then whatever sauce you put on it. So weird. I didn't much care for it, but ate it I did. It felt like I was a kid back at home eating ruffled potato chips in a slice of bread and calling it "my new creation" or something. (And I confessed to the group that I'm always afraid they're going to try and convince me that some ridiculous food they just made up is actually quite popular and then make me eat it...which is why I was so hesitant to believe them when they were talking about chip buddies.)

Tomorrow: guitar lessons, starting some work on the prayer room perhaps, planning out my future mural, and maybe trying to weasel some weekend plans out of someone so I can have a life again.

Add a Dash of Independence

Last night, just before the break dancing group came in to use the space (I'm so used to it, it's not even very exciting to see break dancing anymore), I had a one-on-one meeting with my supervisor here. And it went so well!

First off, I discovered that I'm not crazy for wanting to live here. She moved here when she was just 17. I'm going to start setting as many leads out as possible so I can return. Done and done.

Second, I have a few things that I might get to head up at the Centre, which would be exciting. And I told her that I would like to get practice in leading worship, as it's something I've always wanted to do but never have. I also get to paint a mural on the wall in the Centre! I've always wanted to paint a mural, and now I'll finally get to do it...hopefully I can come up with something fitting.

And I brought up the fact that I feel so isolated sometimes, and I just want to get out and do something rather than just sit at home. (I'm used to a college-student's pace. I can take a lack of sleep for the sake of an adventure.) So on Sunday evening, rather than going home I'll be heading to Belfast with her (where she lives) and spending Monday and a bit of Tuesday there. What will I do? No idea. But I'm willing to go out and get lost for excitement's sake. What kind of abroad intern would I be if I didn't have at least one adventure on my own?

Today: staff day. I haven't a clue where we're going and what we're doing, but I'm sure it'll be grand. I'm definitely going to have a hearty breakfast, because I think most of it will be outdoors. (Something I would have hated in Minnesota just because it's all so familiar, but here...outdoors isn't so bad at all.) I want to climb a grassy hill or something. And I'll be sure to take photographs.

my father moved through dooms of love

(Written by ee cummings.)

my father moved through dooms of love

through sames of am through haves of give,

singing each morning out of each night

my father moved through depths of height

this motionless forgetful where

turned at his glance to shining here;

that if(so timid air is firm)

under his eyes would stir and squirm

newly as from unburied which

floats the first who,his april touch

drove sleeping selves to swarm heir fates

woke dreamers to their ghostly roots

and should some why completely weep

my father's fingers brought her sleep:

vainly no smallest voice might cry

for he could feel the mountains grow.

Lifting the valleys of the sea

my father moved through griefs of joy;

praising a forehead he called the moon

singing desire into begin

joy was his song and joy so pure

a heart of star by him could steer

and pure so now and now so yes

the wrists of twilight would rejoice

keen as midsummer's keen beyond

conceiving mind of sun will stand,

so strictly(over utmost him

so hugely)stood my father's dream

his flesh was flesh his blood was blood:

no hungry man but wished him food;

no cripple wouldn't creep one mile

uphill to only see him smile.

scorning the pomp of must and shall

my father moved through dooms of feel;

his anger was as right as rain

his pity was as green as grain

septembering arms of year extend

less humbly wealth to foe and friend

than he to foolish and to wise

offered immeasurable is

proudly and(by octobering flame

beckoned)as earth will downward climb,

so naked for immortal work

his shoulders marched against the dark

his sorrow was as true as bread:

no liar looked him in the head;

if every friend became his foe

he'd laugh and build a world with snow.

My father moved through theys of we

singing each new leaf out of each tree

(and every child was sure that spring

danced when she heard my father sing)

then let men kill which cannot share,

let blood and flesh be mud and mire,

scheming imagine,passion willed

freedom a drug that's bought and sold

giving to steal and cruel to kind

a heart to fear,to doubt a mind,

to differ a disease of same,

conform the pinnacle of am

though dull were all we taste as bright,

bitter all utterly things sweet,

maggoty minus and dumb death

all we inherit,all bequeath

and nothing quite so least as truth

--i say though hate were why man breathe--

because my Father lived his soul

love is the whole and more than all

I found this poem today through my favorite time-waster, and I just wanted to share it.

My New (Borrowed) Friend:

I'm no pro, but I'm excited to learn. Three chords mastered: G, D, and E Minor. Apparently if I get C down as well I know enough to play "Blessed Be Your Name"--something to work towards!

Just one kid came to our event tonight. Bummer. So rather than use our lesson plan on just one person, we got out the Wii and the ping pong table and let him have at it. At least we're prepped for next week already!

I heard the words "cheer up, pup" more than once today. I guess I forgot my smile at home or something. There is a wee thing bugging me today, and I'm hoping to get it resolved quickly... Looks like God will be hearing quite a lot from me this evening, along with the occasional strumming of a chord.

Nerves nerves nerves

Someone from Portadown (a town basically next door in America-terms, but average distance in NI-terms) read my blog for a half hour tonight...and that totally makes me nervous. Eeek. Fyi, person, I love your country. You should let me live here forever. We can swap, it you like.

(The only reason I know this is because of a nifty site called Google Analytics, which tracks all these little details about each and every single person who visits my blog.)

Please watch.

Wee Adventures in the Kitchen

Today, I made myself a salad for lunch. And then I realized they don't have ranch here. No bother, I thought. I'll just use something else. But no other options were sitting in the fridge OR the pantry. Shooooooot. So, I got inventive and made my own--and it was actually not bad. But next time, I will definitely plan ahead...

And then today when I was searching through the cupboards (being nosey, no big deal), I found pancake mix! And chocolate chips! So, in honor of my dear Crownies whose last-resort meal is always a chocolate chip waffle with peanut butter on top...I decided to make myself a pancake. And it was TOTAL flop. I'm pretty sure a better description would have been crepe mix rather than pancakes...because they were super thing, super watery, and super weird. Somehow I managed to both under-cook and burn one of the two I made...(and the other one was completely under-cooked, by the way). Both attempts went straight to the trash, and the rest of the batter went down the drain. Never again.

(Oh, and by the way, random fun fact: you can buy pancakes here just like you would any other bread product, ready-made in the bakery aisle. No joke. So weird. Next time I'm cravin' a pancake, that's where I'll head first. No more freak-show ones for me.)

So, because of this...I think I'll probably resort to something manageable for dinner. Like spaghetti. That's easy enough, right? Right?

Take two: pasta, chicken breast, and bolognese sauce (a.k.a. spaghetti sauce)

Saturday, a.k.a. a day of soup, tea, and laundry

No plans today, and that's swell. I didn't even set an alarm to wake up this morning, which meant my day didn't start until 11:30am (something I would've hated when I was back in the States, but something I'm growing used to now that I'm here and the days are much calmer). I've been listening to this song all day thus far, and will continue to do so until the lyrics are swimming around in my head.

This evening:

Playing my worship music as loud as I can stand, and spending a chill night at home by myself, as Lexie is going to a youth event at a church in Belfast with a group of friends. (I would go, but I think I need a night alone. Always having a shadow/being a shadow is not a way to live.)

Skype date with Dianne and Becca from Crown, YES. Love these girls. And simply cannot wait to see their faces and hear their voices.

Cleaning the bathroom, perhaps. I know, not exactly a fun task...but I always feel refreshed after it's done. Hopefully tonight will have the same effect.

Taking it easy with soup and tea. I will get rid of this sinus cold. I will, I will.

Today was an off day, but I learned a few things...

...which includes:

1. I can understand almost everyone's accent here but one person, and I always feel bad when I haven't a clue what he's saying...but I think his wee speech impediment doesn't help the situation.

2. I love "Many of Horror" by Biffy Clyro, a UK band. Please love them with me.

3. I don't really like eating chips (fries) with a fork and knife. It's so awkward. But I do it because I must.

4. And malt vinegar is wonderful. I'm never living without it again. (I've had it before, but I'm just appreciating it more and more lately.)

5. The kids here are crazy. But I love them. And having an American accent is totally to my advantage here, because they all stop and listen to me. Maybe I won't strive so much for a NI accent after all. (Not yet, at least.)

6. When I'm too quiet, Ben becomes suspicious of what I'm thinking.

7. Lexie was wise to take the day off because of illness. Maybe my sinus cold would go away faster if I slowed down a bit. But I really don't want to. I want to live each and every day here.

8. I want to learn the guitar more and more.

Tomorrow's plans: nothing. Unless my friend Jonny comes up with something. But I suppose if he doesn't, that's fine too, because I have a Skype date planned for tomorrow evening with girls from school! Hooray! And nothing for Sunday either, which is also fine by me. I think a normal weekend with normal bumming around the house and normal making of meals and normal chores is in order. And I'm okay with that.