My Ambition

Today, I went to Portadown.

A convoy of cars left Dungannon bright and early this morning to leave the team off at the train station there, on their way to Dublin for the day then fly out tomorrow morning. I joined them and said my goodbyes on the platform (a very strange experience, considering they all live about 3 hours away from myself rather than across an ocean).

Following their departure, Ben, Karen, and I went to a coffee shop called Kingdom Cafe for breakfast. And it was lovely. It's a coffee shop run by Christians, and they have it pretty well decked out. I got a vanilla latte and a raspberry and white chocolate scone, no disappointment to be heard of there. And while I was sitting there, conversing with Karen and Ben and sipping on my latte, I got to thinking...

I really do want to work in a coffee shop.

Now, I completely understand I'll be broke, and that it's not the kind of job you can have forever, and blah blah blah. I know this, I do. But really, it would be wonderful. I could sell my handknit goods (like the hat the girl behind the counter complimented me on so heavily--way to go, Mum! Pretty sure she'd have bought it off me if I'd have let her!), and paint murals on the walls, and learn how to make a mean espresso drink, and listen to awesome music and have live acoustic nights, and start up a secondhand shop as well. It would be...class, brilliant, fantastic, unreal, everything everything everything great and wonderful and beautiful.

I want to do this. Really and truly.

P.S. Here's an article I found today during my wee bit of internet browsing, please read.

Oh hey, so I'm still alive...

WHAT A WEEK.

I am absolutely wrecked. (Catch that Northern Irish, have you?) After the Americans arrived on Monday, my life was consumed with looking after the new kids, showing them their lockers and their classrooms and holding their hand to the bus stop. Bringing them their meals and making sure they sleep at night. My oh my, what a week.

But really, I have learned a lot:

I'm not ready to leave Northern Ireland behind. After spending so much time with Minnesotans, I've realised how much I really do love Minnesota, but it would be the biggest heartache ever to leave here and be planted in Minnesota for much more than a year.

But nevertheless, being around Americans again has made me miss my own Americans. My Crown friends, my family, my few remaining connections from high school. It's made me miss the random texts I'd get from people, or phone calls for an hour and a half about everything and nothing, all at the same time. It's made me miss going to the library with my mum on Saturdays, and driving by myself down that glorious 10 mile stretch of Hwy 9 to New Rome, and hearing the dogs bark as soon as you pull into the driveway after a full shift of pizza orders. It's made me miss Arlington a wee bit, even. A level I never really thought I would hit.

I've two months remaining now here in Dungannon, and I intend to live them to the full. One month from now, I'll be with my family and what a strange experience that will be, my two worlds crashing into one. Awk well, I'm absolutely certain they will love it here--as they should.

A Crazy Week Ahead

This will be the last post for awhile, I do believe. Here's why:

Tonight: Safe Haven relaunch--it's a ministry they've done here in the past, but it was stopped for a while when the Centre changed hands and was getting back on its feet again. Tonight, it starts up again with a worship/prayer service at 9 (where I will be singing alongside Ben's guitar playing), and then the actual event from 12-3am. I likely won't be home until 4. Yikes.

Tomorrow: Possibly a trip to Dromore after I've recovered from the previous night. There's a chili fundraiser that another girl in YFC is holding to help pay for as much rent as she can raise--she's originally from the States but has relocated her entire life out here. I want to be this girl, if you can't tell. And another Crownie will be there, she just arrived about 2 weeks ago, and I've been itching to see a face from back home in person.

Then...: Ten days of Americans. There's a team coming from Marshall, just a two hour drive away from where I'm from. So surreal. I don't know any of them, by the way. They're coming from our Centre Manager's sending church, but it certainly will be weird to be around Minnesotans again after so long...and I really hope the adults coming have super sweet MN accents that the locals here have to listen to--and then they'll realize how mild, meek, and tame mine is. (I really don't think I have one at all, actually.)

Anyway, a crazy crazy week here. Plus on Thursday I'm going to a Matt Redman concert in Belfast--and to be completely honest, I'm looking forward more to one of the other acts than Redman himself. Rend Collective Experiment, a band that Ben introduced me to, is such class and I hear they're even better in concert. I'll be camera ready, promise.

All my love to those back home! I'm just over half-way with my internship now, and as difficult as it will be to say "see you later, NI" (because I refuse to believe it's a goodbye, my heart and my head just can't confirm such a thought), it will be such a joyous occasion to see all of your smiling faces again.

Skills...

...that I have acquired since moving here:

1. Learning 4 chords on the guitar

2. Using a paper cutter (which they call a guillotine, and they pronounce the l's too...)

3. Holding my stomach together during all the curvy drives in small cars

4. Eating enough sweets to fill a meal (bad idea, by the way...)

5. Making a good cup of black tea (I don't know if I can go back to herbal anymore...)

6. Making a decent cup of french press coffee (still working on this one...)

7. Leading worship (again, still working on this one...)

8. Writing emails to friends back home

And many more things.

Belfast At Night

Yesterday was a typical Sunday for much of the day. Church in the morning, then I watched a movie during the afternoon and worked on my sock knitting (it's coming along nicely, Mom!). But that evening, I went to Belfast to this huge church they have there.

Well, to be honest, it's not that huge. It's called Whitewell, and it's quite large considering the size of Northern Ireland and the size of churches in general here. To be honest, I didn't really like it. It was ultra-commercial, and I didn't appreciate the pastor's style one bit. But I always enjoy hanging about with the group we came with (all from the group that was at the Potluck), and they always bring quite a bit of humor along with them. Following the service, we went for a tour of some of Belfast done by the only guy in the group, who knows the city quite well because of his four years studying at Queen's University (which is beautiful, by the way, and apparently right up there with Cambridge and Oxford in prestige). We drove up a mountain (a.k.a. really large hill) to see Belfast Castle (a.k.a really large, brick building--but still quite beautiful), and then drove past many wee ins-and-outs of the city which made my love for this country grow even more. You look at some of those streets, and you see Europe in its best form. Bad news, though--didn't have my camera. So no pictures to commemorate this event. However, I do very much plan to go back, and I'll be armed like a photographer that day. Promise.

This past weekend was one of very little sleep, and very much social activity. Props to myself for being out and about are in order, I think. Good thing, too, because this week will very much be one of workworkwork in order to prep for a team of 17 Americans (well, they're actually from Minnesota, and they're actually from Marshall...so it'll be like looking people from home straight in the face, surreal) coming over this next Monday, the 23rd. Ay yai yai. So brace yourselves for possibly very little of me, or very uninteresting blog postings. One or the other, it'll depend my sleep patterns for the week.

Potluck and Eurovision

Two worlds collided yesterday. It was absolute chaos--but the best kind.

One thing is for certain: the concept of a "potluck" is definitely American, and I'm pretty sure a very rural concept as well. So when Amy, the wife of the couple I'm staying with (who's from Canada and only lived here a year, by the way) suggested one, the whole church crew out in this neck of the woods was intrigued. And they went for it.

However, some interesting things did occur. First of all, I think they came under the impression that everyone needs to bring something, when really it's more like a dish or two per family (depending on the size of the family). But, whatever, there certainly was plenty of food for just over a dozen people. Second of all, a couple people asked me prior to the event how you know what to bring so it's not a bunch of the same. And honestly, I don't think that's ever a concern back in the States (not at my family functions, at least) because you come with an idea of what each person's specialty is and that's what they bring to the table. But I guess I could be wrong, because we ended up with two lasagnas. (Not going to complain about that, though--it's one of my favorite dishes.)

And completely unplanned, the potluck turned into a Eurovision party. Now, Eurovision is by far up there with the most hilarious, most interesting cultural experiences you can witness. Trust me. Every country in Europe holds a song contest, where singers and groups compete with their own original works to win for their country, and then each country representative competes for the Eurovision trophy. They can sing in either their country's official language or English. And man, some of those acts are absolutely ridiculous. The UK's group, Blue, was quite good and they're already popular, and we cheered them on in the voting for some time (as, obviously, Northern Ireland is part of the UK). But Ireland's representative, a pair called Jedward...well, please watch the video I've posted below to really understand what I'm getting at with that one.

It was quite the evening, full of laughter and food. Some good craic, I'd say.

New Readers

I've just finished a Skype call with my mum, and she tells me I've got a few new readers.

So, people of Minnesota (specifically those in McLeod and Sibley counties), welcome. Just so you know, much of it won't make sense unless you read the previous posts. I often write as if it's one long conversation, assuming you know all the people I've introduced earlier. Let me know if you have any questions, and feel free to leave your email in the comment section of a post and I'll write you something.

Happy reading!

Ketchup? No, Catch Up.

Blogger was down for the last couple days. So, just let me retrace my steps for a wee moment...

Thursday: We had something called Precepts Ministries in the centre, teaching the team about how to do an inductive Bible study. It was interesting stuff, it really was. Problem is I've learned this before. Twice. Once from the best professor of the Bible I could ever ask for. So, poor Gareth, I'm sorry...but much of the time I just wanted to go at the passage my own way. We have a follow-up night next month where we'll talk about how we applied the methods...and on that evening, I'll just have to buckle through it once more.

Friday: Just Ben and myself in the office, where I had a few wee tasks. And because it was Friday, Friday, and we had to get down on Friday, we went to The Press for lunch. I must learn how to make butternut squash soup when I go back to the States. Otherwise my taste buds will mourn the loss. Oh, and I want to learn how to bake bread. I realize I won't be able to make wheaten bread because we don't have the flour for it in the States....but never again will I eat proper soup without the proper bread. It just wouldn't be as lovely.

That evening, we had the Presbyterian youth club again after a long hiatus, which went well enough. It was hard for myself, because not one young girl was present, so I felt lost in a sea of boys shouting and screaming and running around. They're good boys. They just need to take a long break from all forms of sugar. Like until they hit puberty, for example.

Following youth club, the leaders went out to the cinema, where we saw "Hanna". To be honest, I really did like it. I would watch it again, even. But I can see all the reasons others wouldn't be satisfied with it. It was definitely made to be as edgy as possible, though.

And that, my friends, brings us to today. I haven't a single plan yet for my little ol' self, but I'll come up with something. If nothing else, I need to clean my room here at the house--it's an absolute wreck. (Well, not really. But I haven't spent much time in it the past week and a half, so it's gotten a bit cluttered.) And do laundry. No walk for me today, though--we've had such a stretch of rain and wind, it's unreal. Welcome back, Northern Irish weather. It's rained every day in on-and-off bits this whole week, and every time the sun pecks out a hole in the clouds for a wee moment I think, it's coming out again! And then back behind those clouds it goes. I hope one of these times it comes out to stay for a week again.

Anyway. There's a few wee rants I could have with yous, but I think I'll put them off for the next blog post. Thoughts regarding missions in Europe mostly. Perhaps that'll be an afternoon activity for myself!

Sending my love to America...

So Hip

Well, as much as I love it here...this kind of news makes going home to Minnesota not so bad.

Go, read. Go, go, go.

Can I just say...

...my self-worth levels have gone up so much since coming to Northern Ireland.

I'm constantly referred to as "small" here. Whereas at home I always feel like an amorphous blob. So, that's a plus. I hope I can keep it up when I return to the States, where 20 year olds the size of 12 year olds are considered "healthy," and if you're not tall then you're not much of anything.

And yeah, so I might be seen as vain for taking this as a positive and wearing it proudly. Whatever. It sure does beat how I felt a few months ago back at Crown. And it feels so good.

For the minute, that's all I have to say on that.

Staff Meetings

Today, we had a Staff Meeting down in Belfast, so it was an early start to the day for the interns. Hurrah. But I did get to spend some more quality time with the girls from Dromore, and shared my heart for ministry with one of the two. She's leaving NI shortly, which is disheartening because I really wish we could have hung out. I think we would've gotten on well. Anyway, she told me about a church which offered her an internship to come back, and she gave me a card. So I'm going to try to look into it. It's for a church that's meant for people who don't go to church. LOVE IT. And heck, if she and I could both work it to come back here one day, I'd be all for that. Amen.

Following the meeting, the interns stayed in Belfast for some training sessions with YFCers from other centres. And it went quite well. I learned about how to do proper detached work (so beneficial, because I've really had NO idea what to do when we've gone out...), as well as about preparing for and going into the schools for assemblies and such. And it picks up again tomorrow with three more sessions, 10-2. At least this time it's on our own turf, though. And one of the sessions is on "developing yourself as a leader," which is something I need to learn.

And tonight at Kids For Christ, we just had one girl show...but on the plus side, she's shown EVERY week since the first night she came. Which I think is something like 5 weeks in a row. And I'm all for that. Especially after learning about building relationships today during our intern training.

Anyway, off to sleep now. What a day.

Happy Mother's Day, USA!

Here, it's just like any other day. It's always weird to think about what people are doing back home, back in Minnesota, and about how different the weather looks and how different the people look and sound and walk and joke and everything. Like today, the papers were probably filled with ads this week for different Mother's Day deals and specials at the florist, the department stores, the restaurants, everything. Whereas here, Mother's Day has come and gone. Mums here have already been celebrated. I had to buy my card to mail home at the end of March because otherwise I never would've found one this time of year here.

But today, I've got a Skype time with my own mum. It's definitely not going to be the same as being at home to tell her, but it'll suit for the time being.

Happy Mother's Day!

A Day Out

Yesterday, I was in a car for a very long time.

Around lunch, Ben and Karen came to pick me up for a drive to Belfast for Ben to practice a guitar set with a girl there (they're playing at a coffee shop later this month). But because the girl was in Dromore, we had to go there first to pick her up and then go to her house. Ay yai yai. I am certainly not used to long drives anymore, obviously. Because for some time in there, all I wanted to do was jump out.

But Courtney was a fine girl, and a fine host. Her dog is insane, though. He's a collie, and just a pup, so I can't blame him. He knows more tricks than I do (I'd compare him to my dogs, but anyone could beat them in trick-knowledge), so he's obviously not an idiot. But one thing's certain--he is a jumpy wee thing. And large(ish) jumpy dogs annoy me. So that was an unpleasant experience...I'm sure he'll be a lovely dog once he's no longer a pup, but for the time being I just can't handle it.

Following the jam session, we ventured back to Dromore and I met Ben's parents and saw his cute wee house. Every house I walk into here looks completely different, I swear. (Well, except the ones in town--those all look the same in their set-up.) But his is great. What I saw of it.

Anyway, once back to Dungannon and dropping Karen off because she wasn't feeling well at all, Ben and I went to Papa John's for pizza for dinner. And we had a couple heart-to-hearts, which was quite a relief on my end. And I did let him know to expect the fact that between him and Karen, I'll probably be better friends with him just because I always tend to be better friends with the guys of couples than the girls.

And I talked about my fear of being like Paul, single forever and ever because that's the life that God chose for him. And even if it's encouraged by Paul, I don't think I could do it. If I have to be a table-for-one forever, that would be the pits beyond all pits. Ben's opinion on the matter was, "Well, God gives you the desires of your heart, and if you desire a man then he'll give you one." But what if my heart is a big mess and not following God's will at all? I've got a lot to wrestle with these days. (Good thing it's not affecting my sleep patterns anymore, though.)

Well, those are my thoughts. Today Lexie and I are speaking a little blurb about ourselves at the morning church service, so I'm hoping that goes well enough. Really, I just hope I understand the accent of whoever's asking us the questions, because that would be embarrassing. I'll let you know how it goes...

I am a horrible liar.

But then again, I don't think lying well is a skill I'd like to acquire.

So, hacking people's Facebooks, or "fraping" as it's been termed here (whereas in the States we just say "hacked"), is quite popular. Any chance you get to do it to someone, you're to do it. Well, depending on the group of friends I would guess. But my friends here would be SUPER intense about it. And they all have Facebook on their phones (Blackberrys, that's where it's at...who wants to buy me one when I get home?), so it generally happens as just a status update but I've seen it get as bad as changing one's name, profile picture, gender, orientation, EVERYTHING.

I immediately had a principle when I learned about this phenomenon that I wasn't going to take part. Generally speaking, the frapes can be a tad sexually explicit...actually, I can't think of one that wasn't sexual in any way. And not only do I not want my own to be changed up, but I also don't think that's as hilarious as the Brits do. I'm not a prude, but I do strive to uphold Leviticus 11:44 when the Lord says, "Consecrate yourselves, therefore, and be holy, for I am holy." And changing someone's status to say "I want bummed" isn't exactly my idea of holiness. I don't know that Jesus would be super-de-duper pleased with that.

But yesterday, I took my shot. I knew the password to Ben's desktop, and I got back to the Centre after having lunch at The Press (the coffee shop open Fridays at the Vineyard Church) before Ben did. So I logged on and changed his status to something more harmless than pocket lint. More harmless than the color yellow. More harmless than marshmallows on top of a mug of hot chocolate.

All it said was "Emily Petzel it the coolest person I know, hooray!" And because I finally went for it, and Ben found out, he changed his computer's password.

Dang it.

Apparently, he knew I was up to something as soon as he walked into the Centre and I was smiling just a tad. Because you see, I really cannot lie. I can never keep a straight face after doing things like that, because I'm always so amused with it that I just want everyone to know even though that would defeat the purpose.

All this to say, I did enjoy myself yesterday. Even if it does mean I lost my chance at ever using Ben's computer again.

I've taken a break from being a regular blogger, but I want to get back on the wagon...

Today was a downer day. But I don't quite know why.

I think I was spoiled by all that incredibly sunny, Irish-summer weather (a.k.a. much like a Minnesotan spring) that we've had for the past 2 weeks. Because today, it rained. A truly Northern Irish rain. Where it just kept coming in drizzles and drops, and soaked into your skin even when you're inside. Where your bones feel chilled and you can't quite get warm. Where you're just praying for a wee pinprick of sunshine to come through and bring you a moment of escape. A moment of warmth. A moment of a smile.

That, and I was bored all day at the Centre. BFF Ben was out wrangling up a new car finally (yeah, no more begging for lifts!), and Lexie was doing her own thing, which meant a lot of time alone. With my own thoughts. A dangerous thing for me on days like these.

However, tonight I am determined to find a wee bit of sunshine to brighten me up before bed. And I plan to find it via a fun movie (yet to be determined which one, I wish I could watch Netflix here...), a cup of tea, and some knitting. I'm nearly finished with the sock I'm currently working on, just the cuff left to go...and I realize this will only be interesting to my mum to read, but that's okay by me.

Anyway, I'm off to try and make the best of my wee night at home.

My Yesterday

You know what?

God is good.

So good.

Blow-your-mind good.

Make-you-smile-and-not-know-why good.

Jump-up-and-down-in-the-road-and-be-pushed-out-of-the-way-by-your-friend good.

Laugh-when-someone-makes-fun-of-you good.

Sit-back-and-ask-how-it-could-be-this-good good.

God is good.

After a really difficult weekend at certain points, and some tears shed and sleep lost and many wee rants over Facebook Chat and Skype with lovely ladies from back home, I had a very great day yesterday.

It started out with a much-too-early wake-up in order to catch a ride in. And I was drained right from the beginning. I'll be honest, I didn't pray anything when I woke up, but if I would have it should've been, "Lord, just help me keep it together today. That's all I want."

When we went into the office, I was just counting down the time until I was to go and get my haircut, an appointment long overdue and scheduled two weeks prior (and was long overdue at THAT point). And I wasn't really too excited about spending so much money on hair...£19, which is twice that in USD...love it. But it went well, and I'm more than happy with the results. Paula at Hairizon, you are a STAR.

And then, it was lots of waiting. I helped out with a few wee tasks in the office, and I wrote a letter for someone back home, and then waited for detached work in the Milltown playpark. And no kids came. Not one child about, of any age. So I played on the swings, something I haven't done in ages.

For KFC that evening, we only had two show up--both girls, and both repeats. One four weeks in a row, praise the Lord we're finally starting up a regular attendance (even if it is small). They played ping pong, and I got out my set of Bananagrams upon request by the 4th-timer because we played it last week. And when the epilogue lesson was given by another intern and I could tell that the two girls didn't understand it at all, I did something I normally wouldn't. I jumped in and said, "So girls, do you kind of understand what that was about and what it means then?"

Blank faces. Just staring down at the Bananagram tiles.

So, it was time to go off-the-cuff in ministry. No paper sitting in front of me, no platform to stand on. Just sitting there on the carpet with two girls and trying to explain the gospel without putting on a "teacher" voice. And God gave me the words to speak, and even if the girls didn't understand it a whole lot better, at least it was rephrased. And I got to be a part of it instead of sitting in the background under wraps.

And all throughout this day, I had some of the best conversations ever. I slapped Ben on the back of the head multiple times for his Mexican jokes (which he only makes because I told him my background), and I told him that we're going to be best friends before he knows it. He's really the best brother in Christ I could ask for. Because the thing with me is, as much as I do enjoy have girl friends, there is always a need for me deep down to have one really solid guy friend whom I can tell basically anything to but still joke around with like that. And when all of those people left Crown this past year...I didn't have one of those anymore.

But praise the Lord, because now I do again.

Praise the Lord for he is good, and his love endures forever.

Let's back up a wee bit: StreetReach

I haven't been as active a blogger lately. But you'll soon understand why.

This past week was CRAZYCRAZYCRAZY. As in I got very little sleep, acquired a lovely sunburn and lanyard tan line on the back of my neck, jumped in a bouncing castle for the first time in many years, picked up many shards of glass in the different parks, heard a new language (Lithuanian), dripped paint on my clothing, wore one shirt for 3 days, spent no time in the office at all, walked all around town, led worship, and much more. Ay yai yai.

But it was a good wee week. I really got wrecked from all the hands-on work, but at the same time was forced to really break down some of the barriers I'd set up between myself and God. I'm learning how much I need to rely on him, and how much I currently don't. And it sucks. But I'm going to keep pressing forward.

As for a few topical things...

I didn't really watch much of the Royal Wedding. Sorry, friends and fam back home. I'm really not all that into the wedding thing...but it did look lovely, the bits I saw during the hour break we all took to watch it at Ben's place on Friday.

I have eaten more this past week than I have during the course of any other week I've been here. How I'll make it through this next week, no idea. But the Lord provides, so I'll just keep leaning on him...

As for sleep, I've gotten phenomenally worse in my patterns. I don't think I've slept a full night since my arrival in this country. This needs to be improved. Starting tonight. I am going to have my lights out by 11:30, I think. I hope. I will. Yes.

P.S. Tomorrow is a bank holiday here, which means I get the day off. What will it be devoted to, you ask? Reading for spiritual health, reading for entertainment, going for a walk with a camera in tow, perhaps a Skype call is someone is so willing...the possibilities are endless.

Thoughts from the Vineyard

This morning, I went to the Vineyard Church in Dungannon, and was finally fed. I've missed real worship and real community from the Body of Christ. It was good. And I wrote down a few thoughts regarding the message this morning, and I'd like to share them with you.

The pastor started out by mentioning the Lord's Prayer, and how Jesus said, "Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven." If we want to see the Lord's Prayer actually happen, and see that will be done, then we need to be obedient to the will and do His will.

So, what follows are my few wee thoughts I quickly jotted down on the back of an offering envelope. I likely could have written for pages, but I used the space I had...

Here we go:

SOCIAL JUSTICE

I want to see God's will done on Earth.

I want to see mouths fed, broken legs mended, leprosy cast out, and strong foundations built.

I want to see life spring up from fields of death.

And if I want to see all these things happen by Jesus' hand, then it's time to be the hands.

If I want to see the Spirit bring life to people, it's time to b e a temple and bear the Spirit in the dark places.

If I want to see the dirt washed clean, it's time to really and truly walk out holiness in my steps.

I want to see justice in this world. I want to see real compassion and real mercy.